If you read my previous post, Exploring the Connection Between the Menstrual Cycle and Mental Health, you might recall that the average 28-day menstrual cycle has 4 distinct hormonal phases.
During each phase, your body produces varying levels of both estrogen (the mood-boosting queen) and progesterone (her “calming in small doses” sister who is always prepping for…tiny guests). The menstrual phase—those few days when your body gives you a not-so-subtle confirmation that no guests have arrived—marks the beginning of a new cycle. During this phase, estrogen is all tuckered out from last month’s fabulous adventures, and progestogen is a bit sour after discovering that all her preparation was for naught.
So both start the month by taking a mini vacation, leaving you without estrogen’s fab or progesterone’s calm. This can result in emotional vulnerability on top of physical discomfort. But don’t you fret! With some personal insight, a bit of preparation, and a whole lot of self-compassion, you can support your mental health during the menstrual phase.
You, Meet You: Getting to Know Yourself
I remember in middle school, the girls and the boys were separated into different rooms. I don’t know what the boys talked about, but I vividly remember my teacher showing us how to insert a tampon using a drawing she sketched on the same mini whiteboard we used for math problems.
While learning about the physical challenges our young bodies would undergo was helpful (though somewhat disconcerting), I don’t remember discussing the emotional aspects. I guess that was meant to be a little… surprise?
And the truth is, it was a monthly surprise for years! I knew to expect the physical symptoms each month, but I was always caught off guard by the depression, anxiety, and sudden urge to break up with my boyfriend (now husband) because he just wouldn’t stop talking!
Of course, I had heard that women were “crabby” during their periods, but it was presented as a societal stereotype to which I would not fall victim. Since no one had explained how hormonal fluctuations could affect mood, I assumed the “crabbiness trope” was just a reaction to physical discomfort. Oh, how naïve I was.
Understanding that your mental health during your menstrual cycle isn’t purely tied to physical symptoms is an important first step. The next step? Recognizing your emotional patterns so you aren’t surprised by them every month. For example, now, when I feel the sudden urge to elbow my husband, I don’t question my relationship. Instead, I say to myself, “Hey there, irritability. You’re right on time.”
There are many great apps to help you track your mental health during your cycle, or you can even use a personal calendar. The tool doesn’t matter as much as starting the habit. Begin by tracking your emotions during the menstrual phase. (Eventually, tracking throughout the entire cycle will provide even more insight, but starting with the menstrual phase is a great place to begin.) Note how you feel, any contributing circumstances, and what helped or didn’t help. Over time, you’ll likely begin to notice patterns.
Ready, Set, PERIOD: Prepare Yourself, Your Home, and Possibly Your Loved Ones
Once you understand your patterns, not only will they no longer be a monthly surprise, but you can actively prepare for them. Think about it— do you make sure you have your feminine product of choice ready during the days leading up to your period? I know I make sure my purse is stocked. Well, do the emotional preparation!
This could look different for everyone, depending on your unique emotional needs. It could mean reminding yourself what’s coming up so you’re not caught off guard when your mood dips. Or it might be ensuring you have a bubble bath and high-quality chocolate on hand to prep for a little self-care. It could be scheduling a girls’ night to get some emotional support in the wings. Or it could be giving your husband a heads up that you still love him despite the upcoming eye rolls of the next 5 days.
Time For a Heating Pad and A LITTLE Chocolate: Self-Compassion
When your period does hit, give yourself the grace to feel how you feel. If you’re feeling moody or down, remind yourself that it is an expected and normal response to what your body is experiencing. It’s not “just a trope.” — your hormones are at their monthly low, and this can have a dramatic impact on your emotional health. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment (but definitely jot them down in your tracker!)
Allow yourself to take it easy, both physically and emotionally, during those days. And yes, you can indulge in a little chocolate. Just be careful not to overdo it, or you might end up feeling worse.